Thu Mar 25 2021
So. When you're having fun ("fun", she says), time flies, doesn't it? Well, time's not flying right now, it's going backwards. I assure you, I felt it. It resonated through me. Like a feeling deep in your bones that shakes your heart and feeds your brain. I know. I know. I know. I'm staring at something, or someone, or sometime, I'm not quite so sure. Maybe it's the plastered vanilla drywall in front of me. Maybe it's the drying of my retinas. I don't even remember last time. Feels like a different month. A different year. A different genre. This morning I woke up with an incredible smile on my face. It was the one I taught myself. The sharp corners of my mouth are unnaturally turned upwards and my cheeks are stretched thin. I'm flaunting my teeth (my fake teeth) and hurting my jaw. I haven't shaved. My hair's too long. Finding rhythm is probably the hardest part because once you find it, you'll never go back. It's like the world runs on some magical river that everyone sails on. But I don't really want to. I've been tired before. Buzzing and blurred visions from whatever I smoked, and that's more than enough.